8/19/2023 0 Comments Help me declutter![]() ![]() Most people don’t change because they feel strong-armed into it. Talk about the difference it is making for you and how your life has been positively impacted. Share what you’ve been learning on your decluttering journey and your vision and goals behind it. If they don’t notice the benefits of decluttering right away, talk to them about it. Perhaps they will also see how much easier it is to keep things cleaner and how much money is being saved by not continuing to purchase as much stuff. ![]() Maybe your partner will notice how much neater your side of the closet looks now that it’s been decluttered. In deciding to declutter your own things and areas mutually agreed upon with your spouse, you can set the example. If you can’t declutter the belongings of other family members without their permission or presence, then what can you do?īack to square one of you get to control you. I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like your spouse to secretly throw away or donate items of yours when you weren’t looking. However, living with a strained relationship due to broken trust is more uncomfortable and more damaging. Living with your definition of too much stuff is challenging. As such, I don’t get to make all the rules or decisions on all the things. I’d love it if my house revolved around only the things I value, but we are partners. Frankly, it isn’t even something I want to say. That may not be an answer you want to hear. I’m not showing respect for him if I’m trying to be sneaky and get rid of things without him seeing. RespectĮven if I knew my husband would never notice that I got rid of something of his, I still wouldn’t feel good about. Let’s learn to accept and embrace each other’s differences to the best of our abilities. So as you try to go buy those action figures back from the college kid who refuses to sell them back remember different people value different things and that is ok. This is one reason why you need to keep your decluttering to yourself…your definitions of clutter may be different. We value different things and because we respect each other, I don’t attempt to get rid of his things and he doesn’t try to get rid of mine. However, if I attempted to declutter his beloved library without including him that would be cause for justified anger. If I decluttered all of the things that matter more to me, he would be totally unfazed and may not even notice. He also couldn’t care less about my crafting supplies. My husband doesn’t understand my extensive soap collection. Oops.Ĭommunication fail! This wasn’t a case of trying to secretly get rid of his stuff, but it did highlight the importance of clarity in communication as well as having differences in what we value. Different valuesĭid you see the This Is Us episode where Kate mistakenly decluttered Toby’s prized action figures? It was an honest mistake where she thought DNS meant ‘donations’ and he wrote it to stand for ‘Do Not Sell’. While you may have more of the household management and maintenance responsibilities, you don’t get to decide everything for everyone in your house. You get to decide what is important to you and also what isn’t. You’re responsible for your own health, decisions, schedules, and your stuff. How to declutter when your spouse doesn’t want to But stick with me…it may just be the tough love and truth you need to hear whether we all like it or not. If you were hoping this post was going to give you permission to secretly throw out stuff, you’re going to be disappointed. I really do, but I need to tell you why you need to keep your decluttering to yourself (as painful as that may be). It’s something I’ve had to continually work through in my own home. The struggle is real and I completely understand it. I’ve also worked with clients who wanted me to declutter their spouse’s stuff. A response I commonly hear is having a spouse who isn’t on board. I often ask people what their biggest challenge is with decluttering. Inside: Overwhelmed by the things your partner wants to keep? Here’s how to declutter when your spouse doesn’t want to. ![]()
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